Why forgive?

Matthew (18:21-35)

But how much should one forgive? To forgive is something serious, humanly difficult, if not impossible. One must not speak about it lightly, without realizing what one asks of the offended person when one requests him to forgive. Along with the command to forgive, man must also be given a reason to do so. I

t is what Jesus did with the parable of the king and his two servants. The parable makes clear why one must forgive: because God has forgiven us in the past and continues to forgive us! He cancels a debt of ours that is infinitely greater than the one a fellow human being might have with us. The difference between the debt owed the king (ten thousand talents) and that owed the colleague (one hundred denarii) is equal at the present time to 3 million euros and a few cents ($3.7 million)!

Saint Paul could say: "as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive" (Colossians 3:13). The Old Testament law, "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth," has been surmounted. The criterion no longer is: "Do to someone what he has done to you"; but, "What God has done to you, you do to the other." Jesus has not limited himself, however, to order us to forgive, but did so first himself. While he was being nailed to the cross he prayed saying: "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do!" (Luke 23:34).

This is what distinguishes the Christian faith from any other religion. Buddha also left his own a maxim: "It is not with resentment that resentment is placated; it is with non-resentment that resentment is mitigated." But Christ does not limit himself to point out the path of perfection; he gives the strength to follow it. He does not just command us to do, but acts with us. Grace consists in this. Christian forgiveness goes beyond non-violence and non-resentment. Someone might object: does not to forgive seventy times seven mean to encourage injustice and to give a green light to abuse?

No. Christian forgiveness does not exclude that, in certain cases, you might also have to denounce a person and take them to court, especially when what is at stake are the interests and also the good of others. To give an example close to us: Christian forgiveness has not prevented the widows of some of the victims of terror or the mafia to pursue truth and justice with tenacity in regard to their husbands' death. However, there are not only great acts of forgiveness but also daily acts of forgiveness, in the life of a couple, at work, between relatives, friends, colleagues and acquaintances. What can one do when one discovers that he has been betrayed by his own spouse? Forgive or separate? It is an extremely delicate question; no law can be imposed from outside. The individual must discover within him what to do. But I can say one thing.

I have known cases in which the offended party has found in the love for the other, and in the help that comes from prayer, the strength to forgive the one who erred, but was sincerely repentant. The marriage was re-born as from the ashes; it had a sort of new beginning. Of course, no one can expect that this could happen in a couple's life "seventy times seven." We must be alert so as not to fall into a trap. There is a risk also in forgiveness. It consists of the mentality of those who think that they always have something to forgive others -- the danger of believing that one is always a creditor of forgiveness and never a debtor. If we reflect well, however, many times, when we are about to say: "I forgive you!", we would do better to change our attitude and words and say to the person before us: "Forgive me!" We would then realize that we also have something that the other must forgive. In fact, even more important than forgiving is the humility to ask for forgiveness.

This reflection is taken from Fr Raniero Cantalamessa OFMCap

Fraternal Correction

Matthew (18:15-20)


Human coexistence is intertwined with differences of opinion, conflicts and reciprocal injustices, due to the fact that we have different temperaments, points of view and tastes. The Gospel also has something to say to us about this most common and daily aspect of life. Jesus presents the case of someone who has done something that is really wrong in itself: "If your brother sins against you ..." He does not refer only to a wrong committed against us. In this latter case, it is almost impossible to know if what motivates us is zeal for the truth or, instead, wounded self-love. In any case, the instance would be more one of self-defense than fraternal correction. Why does Jesus say "go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone?"

First of all, out of respect for our brother's good name, for his dignity. He says: "you and him alone," to give the person the possibility to defend himself and to explain his actions in full freedom. Many times, what is from an outside perspective seems to be a fault, is not in the intentions of the one who commits it. An honest explanation dissipates many misunderstandings. But this is not possible when the problem is made known to everyone. According to the Gospel, what is the ultimate reason why it is necessary to practice fraternal correction? It most certainly is not pride, to show others their errors in order to highlight our superiority. Nor to discharge one's conscience by being able to say: "I told you so. I warned you. Too bad for you, if you paid no attention to me." No, the objective is to win over one's brother. That is, to seek the genuine good of the other, so that he can improve and not meet with disagreeable consequences. If it is a question of a moral fault, one does so that he will not compromise his spiritual journey and eternal salvation.

The good result of the correction does not always depend on us (despite our good intentions, the other might not accept it, and might become more rigid); on the contrary, the good result that does depend always and exclusively on us is when it comes to accepting a correction. There is both active and passive correction. Not only does the duty to correct exist, but also the duty to allow oneself to be corrected. And here is where one sees if one is sufficiently mature to correct others. Whoever wants to correct someone must be disposed to be corrected. When you see that a person receives a correction and you hear him answer simply: "You are right, thank you for telling me!" you are before a person of courage. Christ's teaching on fraternal correction should always be read together with what he said on another occasion: "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" (Luke 41-42). I

n some cases, it isn't easy to know if it is better to correct or to let things go, to speak or to be silent. For this reason, it is important to keep in mind the golden rule, valid for all cases, which the Apostle Paul offers in this Sunday's second reading (Romans 13:8-10): "Owe no one anything, except to love one another. ... Love does no wrong to a neighbor." It is necessary to be sure, above all, that in one's heart there is the disposition to accept the person. Then, all that is decided, whether to correct or to be silent, will be alright, as love "does no wrong to anyone."

This reflection is taken from Fr Raniero Cantalamessa OFMCap